Isipiliyoni sami sokushada nendoda ehlukanisile

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samar samIhlolwe ngu Mostafa AhmedOkthoba 12, 2023Isibuyekezo sokugcina: ezinyangeni ezi-7 ezedlule

Isipiliyoni sami sokushada nendoda ehlukanisile

Okuhlangenwe nakho komshado kungase kugcwele izimanga nezinselele, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ushada okokuqala noma indoda ehlukanisile.
Ungase uzibuze mayelana nokuhle nokubi ongahlangabezana nakho kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho.
Lapha, sizobuyekeza ulwazi lwami lokushada nendoda ehlukanisile kanye nokubi nokuhle engihlangabezane nakho.

Okubi:

  1. Ukuphindaphinda amaphutha esikhathi esidlule: Indoda ehlukanisile ingase yenze amaphutha afanayo aholela ekuhlulekeni komshado wayo wangaphambili.
    Uma engafundi kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kwangaphambili futhi asebenze ekulungiseni amaphutha akhe, ungase ubhekane nezinkinga ezifanayo ebuhlotsheni.
  2. Izingane zomshado wangaphambili: Uma enezingane zomshado wakhe wangaphambili, kumelwe uzimisele ukuthwala umthwalo wokuba khona kwazo ekuphileni kwazo kanye nomthelela wazo ebuhlotsheni bomshado.
  3. Ukuqhathanisa nowangaphambili: Ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi kukhona ukuqhathanisa phakathi kwakho nomkakhe wangaphambili, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uvela emndenini noma kuye ngokwakhe.
    Ungase uzizwe ucindezelwa ukuba uzibonakalise futhi ubadlule ngezinye izikhathi.
  4. Ukuthwala Izinkinga Zomuntu Siqu: Indoda ehlukanisile ingabhekana nezinkinga zomuntu siqu ezivela emshadweni wayo wangaphambili nokuhlukana.
    Kufanele uzilungiselele ukubhekana nalezi zinkinga futhi unikeze ukusekela nokuqonda.

Okuhle:

  1. Ukuqwashisa nokuhluzeka kwengqondo: Indoda ehlukanisile ivame ukufunda emaphutheni ayo emshadweni wayo wangaphambili futhi iba nokuqonda okwengeziwe futhi ibe nengqondo ebuhlotsheni obusha.
    Angaba umuntu ovuthiwe oqondayo futhi ozihloniphayo izidingo zomlingani wakhe.
  2. Okuhlangenwe Nakho Emshadweni: Indoda ehlukanisile ingaba nokuhlangenwe nakho okubalulekile emkhakheni womshado.
    Angase akwazi ukunikeza ukusekela nezeluleko ekubhekaneni nezinselele zomshado futhi angase abe nokuqonda okujulile ngobudlelwane bomlingani.
  3. Ukuzinza kwezezimali nomndeni: Indoda ehlukanisile ingase ibe nokuzinza kwezezimali nomndeni ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho kwayo kwangaphambilini.
    Angase abe nomthwalo wemfanelo omkhulu ngomkhaya kanye nokuzibophezela okujulile ekuphileni komshado.
  4. Isiyalo nokuzibophezela: Indoda ehlukanisile ingase ibe nesiyalo futhi izinikele ebudlelwaneni bomshado, ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho kwayo kwangaphambilini.
    Angase abe namandla okubhekana nezinselele ngendlela enokuthula nenokuthula.

Kumelwe ukhumbule ukuthi ulwazi lwakho lokushada nendoda ehlukanisile lungase luhluke kulokho okwenzeka kwabanye abantu.
Kufanele futhi ucabangele ezinye izici ezinjengobuntu nokuqondana.
Ukushada nendoda ehlukanisile kungaba okuhlangenwe nakho okuphumelelayo uma ukulungele ukubhekana nezinselele futhi unqobe ubunzima ngothando nokuqonda.

Umphakathi uyibheka kanjani indoda ehlukanisile?

Uma sikhuluma ngesehlukaniso nomthelela waso kubantu ngabanye nasemphakathini, kuvame ukugqanyiswa isimo nezinselelo zabesifazane abadivosile.
Kodwa ingabe siyakhohlwa ukuthi indoda ehlukanisile nayo ibhekana nobunzima nezinselele? Sizobheka ukuthi umphakathi uyibheka kanjani indoda edivosile kanye nezinselelo ebhekana nazo.

  1. Ukucwaswa emphakathini:
    Emiphakathini yama-Arab, isehlukaniso singase sibhekwe njengehlazo futhi siyihlazo.
    Nakuba amadoda adivosile engase angacwaswa ngezinga elifanayo nabesifazane abadivosile, abaphathwa ngokuqapha ngabanye abantu emphakathini.
  2. Izinkinga zokushada futhi:
    Uma indoda ehlukanisile ifuna ukuphinde ishade, ingase ibe nobunzima ekutholeni umngane womshado ofanelekayo.
    Abanye bangase bazizwe bekhathazekile futhi bengabaza ngezizathu zesehlukaniso futhi balondoloze ukwesaba kwabo ngokuphumelela kobuhlobo obusha.
  3. Ukwenqatshwa kwabesifazane:
    Ngokuvamile, kungase kube nzima ngendoda ehlukanisile ukuthola umngane wokuphila omusha.
    Abanye besifazane bangase bathambekele ekugwemeni ubuhlobo namadoda ahlukanisile, futhi izingane zowesilisa ohlukanisile zingase zibe nomthelela ekuthandeni kwabesifazane.
  4. Ukukhathazeka kokuqhathanisa:
    Lapho indoda ehlukanisile icela umshado komunye, ingase ibhekane nokukhathazeka ngokuqhathaniswa nomkayo wangaphambili.
    Kungase kuphakame imibuzo mayelana nesizathu sesehlukaniso kanye nomthelela waso ebudlelwaneni bangaphambili.Lokhu kungase kudale ukungakhululeki kumlingani omusha nomndeni wakhe.
  5. Izinselele zezimali nezomzwelo:
    Njenganoma yikuphi ukwehlukana, indoda ehlukanisile ingase ibhekane nezinselele ezingokwezimali nezingokomzwelo.
    Kungase kudingeke ondle umkhaya wakhe wangaphambili ngokwezimali, okungase kuthinte ukuzinza kwakhe ngokwezimali nekhono lokuthwala izindleko ezintsha ngemva kwesehlukaniso.
Isipiliyoni sami sokushada nendoda ehlukanisile

Ngingenza kanjani ukuthi umndeni wami ushade nendoda ehlukanisile?

Ukushada nomuntu ohlukanisile kungaba yisihloko esibucayi nesihloko sengxoxo nomndeni wakho.
Kodwa-ke, ungalandela izinyathelo ezithile zokubhekana nalesi simo ngendlela efanele futhi wandise amathuba akho okukholisa umndeni wakho ukuthi wamukele umshado wakho nendoda ehlukanisile.
Nawa amanye amathiphu angakusiza ukufeza lokhu:

  1. Yazi umuntu ohlukanisile:
    Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukwethula imizwa yakho futhi uzame ukukholisa umndeni wakho, uzethule kahle kumuntu ohlukanisile.
    Qoqa ukwaziswa okudingekayo ngaye, okuhlanganisa izimfanelo zakhe ezinhle, umlando wakhe womshado wangaphambili, nezinga lobuhlobo bomkhaya nabantwana bakhe, uma enabo.
  2. Veza imizwa ngokwethembeka:
    Kufanele ube qotho ngemizwa yakho.
    Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi uchazele umndeni wakho ukuthi le ndoda izizwa kanjani ngawe nokuthi ikuphatha kanjani ngokunakekela nangenhlonipho.
    Futhi, chaza ukuthi uthuthukisa kanjani ubudlelwano ngendlela efanele.
  3. Gxila ezicini zayo ezinhle:
    Yenza umkhaya wakho ugxile ezimfanelweni ezinhle zale ndoda nalokho engakunikeza yona njengomyeni.
    Khuluma ngokuziphatha kwakhe, inkolo, amakhono akhe okuxhumana nabantu, futhi ubukeze izici ezikukhangayo ebuntwini bakhe.
  4. Izibonelo zangempela:
    Sebenzisa izibonelo ezingokoqobo namacala aphumelelayo omshado namadoda ahlukanisile ukuze ukholise umkhaya wakho ukuthi likhona ithemba lokuphumelela kobuhlobo.
    Ungase uqoqe izindaba zempumelelo nobufakazi kwabanye abantu abasebudlelwaneni obuphumelelayo ngemva kokushada namadoda adivosile.
  5. Jabulela ukusekelwa abasondelene nawe:
    Bheka izihlobo noma abangani amazwi abo angase abe nethonya elihle emndenini wakho.
    Cela osondelene nawe owazi umuntu odivosile ukuthi aveze ubufakazi bakhe futhi aphawule ngaye ngendlela ehambisana nesinqumo sakho.
  6. Khuluma ngokuhlakanipha:
    Kufanele ukhulume nomndeni wakho ngokuhlakanipha nangenhlonipho.
    Khetha isikhathi nendawo efanele ukuze ugweme ukungqubuzana nokungqubuzana.
    Zola futhi uzinze lapho ubhekene nanoma yiziphi izinkinga noma ukuphikisa abangase bakuveze.
  7. Yenza uhlelo lwesikhathi esizayo:
    Bathumelele uhlelo oluchaza ukuthi uzobhekana kanjani nanoma yiziphi izinselele ezingaba umphumela womshado wakho nendoda ehlukanisile.
    Lolu hlelo lungase luhlanganise ukuchaza ukuthi uzosingatha kanjani ubuhlobo bakhe nezingane zakhe noma ukubhekana nezinselele zezimali ezingaba khona.

Awukho umlingo owodwa ongenza umndeni wakho wamukele umbono wokushada nendoda ehlukanisile.
Kuyinqubo edinga isineke, ukuqonda, nomusa ohlangothini lwakho.
Kungase kuthathe isikhathi ngaphambi kokuba bamukele lesi sinqumo, futhi izingqondo zabo zingase zingashintshi ngokuphelele.
Ngakho-ke, zilungiselele ukuxoxisana nokwamukela noma yiziphi izichibiyelo noma izimo ezinqunywe umndeni wakho.

Ingabe indoda ehlukanisile ibhekwa njengengashadile?

Lo mbuzo ungase udide abantu abaningi.
Eqinisweni, impendulo incike encazelweni esetshenzisiwe namasiko kanye.
Kulolu hlu, sizohlola umqondo wokuba “isoka” nokuthi isehlukaniso singasithinta kanjani isimo sendoda.

  1. Incazelo yokungashadi:
    • I-bachelor ngumuntu ongakaze ashade futhi okwamanje akashadile.
  2. Umthelela wedivosi emadodeni:
    • Uma indoda ishada futhi umshado wayo uphela ngesehlukaniso, khona-ke udivosile futhi akashadile.
    • Umthelela wesehlukaniso wezenhlalo nezomthetho ungase uqhubeke kuye ngomthetho wendawo wezwe ngalinye.
  3. isiphetho:
    • Indoda ehlukanisile ingase ibe senqubweni yesehlukaniso ngemva kokuphela komshado wayo, ngakho-ke akabhekwa njengendoda engashadile.
    • Owesifazane kumelwe asiqonde kahle isimo sendoda ehlukanisile ngaphambi kokuba abhekane nayo ngokothando noma enze isinqumo sokushada.

Yibuphi ububi bokushada nendoda ehlukanisiwe?

Umshado uyinsika ebalulekile ekuphileni kwabantu abaningi, futhi wonke umuntu uvame ukuphupha ukwakha ubuhlobo obujabulisayo nobuzinzile.
Nokho, ungase ubhekane nezinselele ezithile lapho ucabangela ukushada nendoda ehlukanisile.
Lapha sizobuyekeza ezinye zezinto ezingezinhle ongase ubhekane nazo lapho usondela ekushadeni nendoda ehlukanisile:

  1. Ubuhlobo bakhe bangaphambili bungase buthinte ubuhlobo bomshado: Ungase uhlale usola futhi umqaphile umyeni wakho, futhi ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi ukhuluma nomkakhe wangaphambili ngaphansi kwezaba lezingane, okuholela ekungakwamukelini lokhu kukhulumisana ebuhlotsheni bakho bomshado.
    Lezi zinkinga zingathinta injabulo yakho nokuzinza ndawonye, ​​futhi lokhu kukhulumisana ungase ukubheke njengokungathembeki emshadweni, okwandisa imizwa yomona phakathi kwenu.
  2. Ukwethembana nokungabaza okubuthakathaka: Indoda ehlukanisile ingase ibhekane nokumethemba okubuthakathaka umkayo nokuthambekela okungapheli kokungabaza, ikakhulukazi uma yachayeka ekukhapheni nasekukhohliseni emshadweni wayo wangaphambili.
    Angase abe nokungabaza ngokwethembeka komkakhe wamanje nekhono lakhe lokuqhubeka nobuhlobo bomshado obuzinzile.
  3. Ukusebenzelana nezingane: Indoda ehlukanisile ngokuvamile iba nezingane zomshado wayo wangaphambili, futhi lokhu kungase kuyenze ibe indoda ewusizo ngandlela-thile nengenalo imizwa yothando njengomuntu ongakaze ashade.
    Ungase uzizwe ukhungathekile futhi uzizwe sengathi awuyona ingxenye ebalulekile yokuphila kwakhe, ikakhulukazi uma unesifiso sokwakha umndeni omusha kusukela ekuqaleni.
  4. Ukubhekana nomkhaya nomphakathi: Uma umndeni wowesifazane wazi ukuthi lowo ozoshada indodakazi yawo uhlukanisile futhi unokuhlangenwe nakho komshado wangaphambili, lokhu kungase kuholele ekubeni umenqabe futhi ungamamukeli, ukuziphatha kwakhe, izici zakhe, namandla akhe.
    Lokhu kungenza ubuhlobo phakathi kwakho nomndeni wakhe bube nzima futhi kungase kuphazamise ikhono lakho lokwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile naye.
  5. Ukubekezelela okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule: Indoda ehlukanisile ingase ithwale engqondweni yayo okuhlangenwe nakho okungekuhle komshado wayo wangaphambili, futhi lokhu kungase kuthinte ubuhlobo benu ngokungaqondile.
    Indoda ehlukanisile ingase ithintwe ukwehluleka noma ubuhlungu emshadweni wangaphambili, futhi ingase ibheke ukugwema izinkinga nobunzima obungase bubangelwe yibo ngisho noma singekho isizathu sokucindezeleka.

Kungokwemvelo ukuthi ukushada nendoda ehlukanisile kunamaphuzu amabi, kodwa kumelwe futhi ucabangele ukuthi umshado ngamunye uhlukile futhi ungase ukubheke njengethuba lempumelelo nenjabulo phakathi kwenu.
Kungase kudingeke ucabangisise ngendaba futhi ukhulume ngokukhululekile nomuntu ongase adivose ukuze uqonde izinselele zakhe futhi nixoxe ngokuthi ningabhekana kanjani nazo ngaphambi kokwenza noma yisiphi isinqumo.

Ngiyazisola ngokushada nendoda ehlukanisile

Inani elikhulu labesifazane lashada namadoda ahlukanisile futhi lamangala ngezinkinga eziningi ngemva komshado.
Nazi izizathu eziyisikhombisa ezijwayelekile ezenza abesifazane bazisole ngalesi sinqumo:

XNUMX.
الكذب وعدم الشخصية:
Indoda ehlukanisile ingase iqambe amanga futhi iphoqelele ubuntu bayo kumfazi omusha ngaphandle kokuba namalungelo okuzenzela izinqumo.
Lolu hlobo lokuziphatha lungenza umfazi azizwe exhashazwa futhi encishwa umoya.

XNUMX.
المشاكل المستمرة مع الطليقة والأبناء:
Inkosikazi ibhekana nezinkinga eziningi nowayengunkosikazi womyeni wakhe, futhi ukuhlalisana njalo nezingane zakhe kuholela ekukhathaleni kwakhe kwansuku zonke nokuzisola ngalesi sinqumo.

XNUMX.
فقدان الأطفال:
Inkosikazi ingase icelwe ukuba ishiye izingane kuyise, okusho ukuthi izolahlekelwa yizo futhi ngeke ikujabulele ukuzimela njengomama.
Lesi kungaba yisinqumo esinzima ukubhekana naso ngoba sihlanganisa imizwa yothando nokulahlekelwa.

XNUMX.
Ukucindezeleka kwengqondo:
Indoda ingase ihlupheke ngenxa yokucindezeleka okungokwengqondo okuhlobene nempilo yayo yangaphambili kanye nobuhlobo bayo nowayengumkayo.
Angase azizwe edidekile noma ezisola ngezinye izikhathi, futhi le mizwelo kuba nzima ngenkosikazi ukubhekana nayo.

XNUMX.
Ukuzisola mayelana nesikhathi esedlule:
Inkosikazi ingase ihlale izisola ngesinqumo sayo sokushada nendoda ehlukanisile futhi ingase ibe nomuzwa wokuthi ayizange icabangisise ngalezo zikhathi.
Lokhu kuzisola kungaholela ekuphazamisekeni kwemizwelo kanye nomuzwa wokulahlekelwa.

XNUMX.
الأولاد في حضانة الطليقة:
Uma inkosikazi inquma ukushiya izingane kuyise ozalayo, kungase kube nokungqubuzana phakathi kwayo nowayeyinkosikazi futhi ingase ibe nesibopho esiqondile sokunakekela izingane.
Inkosikazi ingase ingakalungeli le ndima futhi izizwe ikhathele.

XNUMX.
تفكير الزوج في الطليقة:
Umfati angase acindzeteleke nakabona kutsi indvodza yakhe isacabanga ngemfati wayo wakudala nobe ikhuluma naye ngaletinye tikhatsi.
Lokhu kungase kwenze umfazi azizwe engalondekile futhi kungase kuholele ekubhidlikeni kobuhlobo babo.

Ngamafuphi, abesifazane kufanele bacabangisise ngaphambi kokushada nendoda ehlukanisile.
Kumelwe bacabangele izinselele ezingaba khona ezingokwengqondo nezingokomzwelo nokuthi bakulungele yini lo msebenzi owengeziwe.
Uma kucatshangelwa kahle futhi kwenziwa isinqumo ngokuhlakanipha, ukushada nendoda ehlukanisile kungaphumelela futhi kujabulise.

Ububi bokushada nendoda ehlukanisiwe enengane

Ukushada nendoda ehlukanisile egcina ubuhlobo nomkakhe wangaphambili kungaba inselele kwabesifazane abaningi.
Uma ucabanga ukushada nendoda ehlukanisile enendodana, ungase ubhekane nezinkinga ezimbalwa okufanele uzicabangele.
Okulandelayo uhlu lobubi bokushada nendoda ehlukanisiwe enengane:

  1. Izingane zibalulekile: Owayengunkosikazi angase asebenzise izingane njengendlela yokukhohlisa indoda ehlukanisile, futhi ayenze ibe nomuzwa wokuthi awamukeleki ngokwanele ekuphileni kwayo, njengoba kuncono ukuba indoda ikhulume nowayeshade naye— unkosikazi ngaphansi kwesizathu sokunakekela izingane.
    Lokhu kungadala ukungabaza neziyaluyalu ebudlelwaneni bakho bomshado futhi kuthinte injabulo nokuzinza kwakho.
  2. Imizwa yomona nokusola: Uma ungowesifazane onomona, kungase kube nzima ukuthi ubhekane nendoda ehlukanisiwe enendodana.
    Ungase uzizwe unesikhwele futhi usolisa ubuhlobo phakathi kwakhe nomkakhe wangaphambili, futhi le ndaba ingase ithinte ukunethezeka nenjabulo yakho ekuphileni komshado.
  3. Izinkinga ezingase ziphakame phakathi kwezingane nomkhaya wakho omusha: Ungase ube nobunzima bokwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile nobuqinile nezingane ezingezona izingane zakho.
    Izingane zakho zangaphambili zidinga isikhathi, ukunakwa, nokuqonda ngokuba khona kwakho njengomama omusha ekuphileni kwazo, futhi ungase ubhekane nezinselele ekumataniseni izidingo zabo nezidingo zakho.
  4. Izinkumbulo zesikhathi esidlule: Umyeni ohlukanisile uvame ukugcina izinkumbulo nezithombe zomkakhe wangaphambili nezingane zabo, okungase kukubangele ukungakhululeki nokungazinzi kwengqondo.
    Kungase kudinge ukuthi uphile nokwedlule, ukuqonde, futhi ukwamukele njengengxenye yempilo yomyeni wakho, futhi lokhu kungaba inselele kwabanye besifazane.
  5. Umthelela empilweni yomshado: Lolu hlobo lobudlelwano obuyinkimbinkimbi lungase luholele emthelela omubi empilweni yomshado.
    Ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi ubuhlobo nomyeni wakho abuzinzile futhi abujabulile ngenxa yezinkinga ezihlobene nezingane kanye nobuhlobo bangaphambili, futhi lokhu kungathinta izinga lokuphila komshado ngokujwayelekile.

Isinqumo sokushada nendoda ehlukanisile enendodana sincike endleleni ozizwa ngayo nekhono lakho lokubhekana namaphutha okungenzeka.
Kubalulekile ukuthi ukhulume futhi uxhumane nomuntu omethembayo ngaphambi kokwenza noma yisiphi isinqumo esibalulekile.

Indlela yokusebenzelana nendoda eyayishadelwe ngaphambili

  1. Faka esikhundleni semicabango emibi ngemicabango eyakhayo:
    Ungavumeli imicabango emnyama iphazamise ubuhlobo bakho nomyeni wakho ohlukanisile. Zama ukugwema ukuzizwa uphelelwa ithemba futhi ungathembeki ngenxa yesipiliyoni sakhe sangaphambili.
    Thatha ubuhle futhi ugcine imicabango yakho ihlanzekile ukuze ube nokuphila komshado okujabulisayo.
  2. Hlonipha okwedlule:
    Umyeni wakho angase abe nokuhlangenwe nakho komshado wangaphambili, ngakho kumelwe uwuhloniphe futhi uwuzwele lo mlando.
    Ungaziqhathanisi nomkakho wakudala, ngoba wonke umuntu uhlukile futhi unokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe.
  3. Ukuxhumana okuhle:
    Vumela isikhathi nesimo esifanele sokukhuluma nomyeni wakho.
    Cela lokho okudingayo ngendlela eqondile necacile, futhi uthembeke ekuvezeni imizwa nezidingo zakho.
    Ukulalelisisa izinkinga zakhe nokwabelana ngemicabango yakho ngokukhululekile kungaqinisa ubuhlobo benu.
  4. Ukujwayelana kwami ​​nonkosikazi wakhe wakudala:
    Ungase uzizwe wesaba ukuthola mayelana nomkakhe wangaphambili, kodwa lesi sinyathelo siyadingeka ukuze usiqonde kangcono isimo.
    Zama ukwakha ubungane naye futhi ufunde mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe nemicabango yakhe.Lolu lwazi lungakusiza uqonde umyeni wakho kangcono.
  5. Funda amakhono okuxhumana nokuxazulula izinkinga:
    Udinga ukufunda amakhono okusebenzelana nabanye nokuxazulula izingxabano ngempumelelo.
    Nquma ukuthi yini engakwanelisa nokuthi yini ongeke uyibekezelele ebudlelwaneni bakho, bese uzama ukuxhumana ngendlela efanele nangokuqonda ukuze uxazulule izinkinga ezingase zibe khona.
  6. Yakha ikusasa okwabelwana ngalo:
    Sebenza nomyeni wakho ukwakha ikusasa elivamile, lapho usebenza khona ukuze ufinyelele imigomo efanayo futhi uthuthukise ubuhlobo unomphela.
    Jabulela izikhathi ezabiwe kanye nempumelelo eyabiwe ukuze uqinise isibopho sakho.

Kafushane, isihluthulelo sokusebenzelana nomngane womshado wangaphambili inhlonipho, ukwethembana, nokukhulumisana okuhle.
Thatha ubuhle futhi wakhe ubuhlobo obunempilo obusekelwe othandweni nokuhloniphana.

Shiya amazwana

ikheli lakho le-imeyili ngeke lishicilelwe.Izinkambu eziyisibopho zikhonjiswa ngu *